Giving and Taking
I defined the formula of giving and taking in the simplest and most effective way possible:
“Give to people what they can take, and take from them what they can give”
As for the people who really love you, the ones who know you for who you are and not for whom they want you to be, and give you what you need and not what they need to give, for those people, just love them and give them back the same way they give you and forget the above equation!
In reality, most people neither really know you nor really love you, so the equation needs to be explained.
If you give more than necessary, then you create a problem for the receiving person.
If you want more than available, then you make an injustice unto yourself.
Problems have solutions:
Hold to your truth, to your beliefs, to your integrity of thoughts and give from yourself, but just enough for the other person to be able to take it in and digest it. If they can’t take anything, move on… there isn’t any possible relationship with these people. If they can take in a little and you have the urge to give more, find other people to continue giving, until your need for giving is satisfied.
With some people and over time, little intakes become bigger, a relationship develops and the time spent with them becomes more and more interesting. This is a winner!
Other people stay at little doses. If these people are important in your life then accept them as they are, knowing their limitations. If they are not important, then move on … there isn’t any relationship to develop with these people.
Injustices can be corrected:
Your thirst to receive is legitimate. Pursue it with all your strengths.
The burden of “wanting more than they have” which you put on other people could be overbearing on many of them. To avoid this you need to multiply and diversify your sources. Your sources of receiving are numerous. Choose as many as you need to quench all aspects and dimensions of your thirst. Everyone wins here. You clearly win by receiving all you need, and the ones giving you win as well, by being “allowed” to give you as much as they can without feeling any guilt of incapacity or thriftiness.
Give from yourself, what people can take, and take from them what they can give. As you do that, remember the following wisdoms:
1. “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, nor cast your pearls before the swine, because they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” Jesus, The Bible.
2. “Give to Caesar what to Caesar and to God what to God” Jesus, The Bible.
3. “You often say, I would give, but only to the deserving. The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture. They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.” Gibran Khalil Gibran, The Prophet.